Alcoholism can effect a family in a wide range of ways. Depending on the level of alcohol use, children can be left alone for short periods of time or become secondary parents to their younger siblings. Parents that abuse alcohol are effecting the long term mental health of their children and may be creating future alcohol abusers in the process.
Not all drinkers are alcoholics, but if your life becomes focused around your drinking you may have a problem. If your job becomes effected or your home life begins to suffer, you may consider that your alcohol abuse is a problem for both you and your family. Alcoholics Anonymous is a free, nationwide network for people that believe that alcohol has become a problem in their lives.
As an investigator in the juvenile courts, I have learned that there can be different effects on the children, depending on which parent is the heavy alcohol abuser.
Children who have a mother that drinks excessively tend to become caretakers. They are not nurtured by their mother as they should be. Girls that do not have their mother around as teenagers tend to get involved with boys or young men at a very young age. They are seeking love and acceptance. Children need someone to take care of them, to cover their scrapes and to cook them dinner. Children with an alcoholic mother tend to learn how to survive on little affection and therefore seek it in other facets of their lives.
When a father is the one that drinks excessively, violence tends to become prevalent in the home. Children that witness violent episodes in the home while their father is drunk are apt to become fearful of their father and feel pity for their mother. They do not understand what is going on. Children that witness violence often are diagnosed with anxiety or depression and they have difficulty in school.
If you believe your children are suffering from your being an alcoholic, don’t just feel guilty. There is help for your children through ALATEEN. Like AA, ALATEEN is a support group for teenagers who have been dealing with the drinking of one or both parents. ALATEEN will provide the guidance for your child in the hopes that they do not become alcoholics themselves.
Alcohol, when used responsibly, can be an excellent way to wind down from a hard work week. Alcohol used in excess can break a family apart, resulting in shattered relationships, mistrust and the unexpected around every corner.