Definition: “Love addiction is any unhealthy attachment to people, euphoria, romance or sex in an attempt to get needs met”.
Love addiction may not seem like a serious addiction simply because it involves love. However, it is really an addiction complex that can be viewed as consisting of romance, relationship and sex addiction. Although it is not perceived to be as harmful as other forms of addiction, it can be destructive to the love addicts and their partners. The following are the major reasons why love addiction is unhealthy:
1) It leads to other forms of addiction.
This is because of the fact that love addicts tend to have low self-esteem and question the value of life when things are not in their favour. Several people who suffer with this form of addiction also suffer from depression.
2) Self-development or growth is unlikely to occur.
Love addicts seek the feel-good aspects of relationships, without being able to cope with their inherent vicissitudes. The inability to cope properly with different situations and the fear of change makes the afflicted individual unable to develop within relationships. Love addicts are unable to look beyond the relationships that they are in. Even still their view of the relationship that they are in is usually corrupted. As such, their relationships are unlikely to develop properly.
3) The person who is addicted to love would either be manipulative or easily manipulated.
One of the many characteristics of this condition is that the person is needy and dependent. In this case, the addict would be easily manipulated. The more aggressive addicts try to use schemes to manipulate partners into meeting their needs to feel or be loved. These include withholding sex, since they tend to confuse sex with love. Sex is reduced to a bargaining tool, which is destructive to relationships.
4) Recovery from break-ups is also difficult for the love addict
Reactions to break-up may be outlandish since we are not dealing with persons who are in full control of their emotions. Attempts to break up may result in obsession and stalking. In milder cases, the person would quickly move into new relationships to avoid self-dependence.
5) Tolerance of high-risk relationships
Dependency and attachment would lead to a high tolerance of risky or abusive relationships. The love addict is a captive of the addiction and also a virtual prisoner of the relationship that he or she is in. The high tolerance level of such relationships is one of the most dangerous aspects of love addiction.
The “feel good” chemicals and hormones that are released from being involved in relationships and through sexual involvement can easily lead to love addiction when they are used to numb one’s senses against life’s issues and problems. There are several negative characteristics of love addiction that are behavioural, social and psychological. These affect the individual’s ability to grow and sustain healthy relationships. Love addiction affects partners, friends and even other areas of the addict’s life. Even though love addiction is difficult to spot if it is purely psychological, this quality is what makes it the most pernicious of all.
Sources:
http://www.loveaddiction.com/l ove_addiction.htm
http://loveaddiction.org/
http://www.allaboutlove.org/lo ve-addiction.htm
http://www.recovery-man.com/lo veaddict.htm