As a former addict who suffered 30 years of substance abuse I feel I am somewhat of an expert in the field of addictions. Pretty much every substance abuser will tell you that the first step is admitting you have a problem; but that is the easiest part to the problem. I guess I should start at the beginning as I was not born an addict; as most never are.
I was ten years old when I took my first drink; though I did not really like the taste. I soon found out taste really had nothing to do with my particular abuse at the time. The high was what drew me in the ability to escape reality for awhile; that was the clincher. I soon smoked my first joint at the age of 11. Now some of you might say “Where were your parents?” Though at the time I thought they were the reason I did it I know now that had very little to do with anything. I would sneak off with my friends who had gotten a joint from their older brother, or had snuck out with a gallon of draft beer from their parents game room.
By the time I was 15 I was popping the occasional Valium chasing it down with a quart of beer, or a fifth of any alcohol I could get. I was into the rock and roll scene real heavy as I got older; and by the time I was 18 I was in a working band. That only led to further abuse with a variety of drugs. I used to tell everyone when they would ask my drug of choice I replied “What you got?” By 18 I had tried just about every drug there was at least once some even more, with the exception of heroin.
By the time I was 24 I was a husband,and father with a real penchant for cocaine. I would snort a line every time I could get my hands on it. As a musician you can just imagine how readily available it was; and I could not say no. I watched hopelessly as I lost my family to my addictions; all the while remaining to blind to see what my addictions had done. As the years went by I went from drug to drug trying all I could still wanting more. That is the sad thing about addiction we as abusers don’t see the damage we have done along the way to those that love us.
When I was 32 I was playing music four nights a week; and the band I was playing with was starting to take off as we played all originals. At the time I wrote over 50 songs most of them pretty good; at least that was what I was told. My band mates which included my younger brother on lead guitar used to harass me all the time about my addiction. I was a full blown pill addict; I had become dependent on Lortabs, Vicodin, and