Meth seems to control my life three years after my brothers became addicted to it, I can’t escape the thoughts and feelings I have for this drug. I am pretty straight laced married my first love, have two beautiful children, and have never done drugs. Yet I sit here still caught in Meth’s web, a drug I have never even touched, except to flush down the toilet. Meth controls my life, and I allow it too. Most people can look around and see the dangers that Meth causes to it’s users, so I want to explain the hidden dangers you never knew existed.
When someone becomes addicted Meth, and anyone who tries it does become an addict they control everyone they know. The drug controls people who never touch it. I remember watching my brothers becoming monsters trying to claw out of their own skin. Sweet brothers who wouldn’t let a fly land on me afraid it might hurt me, turn into monsters that I never knew existed. I remember watching their lives crumble around them, and them not even seeing it for what it was. I can remember the crazy stunts I pulled trying to save them, like kicking a man wanted in five states for every crime you can imagine out of my brothers house. Hiding in bushes to hunt the shadow people chasing one of them. I remember it all, they don’t . They remember the ten feet tall, superman feeling they got from it. The being able to not feel the pain , not having to face losing everything they had ever loved.
When you hear the dangers of Meth, you hear how it affects your teeth, your brain, and your body. But the destruction doesn’t stop there, it never stops. I live everyday with the fear that one of my brothers will go chasing the devil again, and fall back into Meth’s trap. I watch constantly for the signs, weight loss, uncaring, eating nothing but “sugar on a spoon”. I watch for thing’s to start vanishing, or for every emotional problem big or small to send him spiraling downward. I watch to make sure he bathes, or even changes his clothes everyday. I make sure every time I walk into a room with him, that his skin isn’t pale, and his hair doesn’t look dry. I walk around looking over his shoulder all the time. He can’t remember nights spent crying , or feeling like they were going crazy. I remember it all every time I see their face.
I almost lost two of my brothers to this drug, and I am the one it still chases. The main danger of Meth if you ask me, is that if it touches your life it never lets go. I still love my brothers, and I am still their for them when they need me. But Meth claimed apart of my brothers in my memory, and I’ll never be able to forget that. I’ll never be able to remember only the good times because Meth can creep back in at any moment. Bringing it’s lies, hate, self disrtuction, and anger with it. The biggest danger of Meth is that you never have to use it, for it to control your life.